The Family Tree

An Open Letter to Our Family

To the entire Dix, Byrd and Dunham family, and every family joined to our tree through birth, marriage and love:

Recently, Papa celebrated his 84th birthday in Las Vegas. My dad, Uncle Kevin, Uncle Michael and I joined him, and what stayed with me wasn't Vegas. It was the joy on Papa's face having his three sons together. There was a time when doctors weren't sure he would see 84, yet there he was laughing, talking and enjoying his boys.

It made me think about how differently time must look at 84. Children become adults, grandchildren become parents, and one household becomes many. Nothing necessarily went wrong along the way. The tree simply grew. The question is whether our relationships, knowledge and traditions grew with it.

This letter isn't about blame or judgment. Every person has experienced this family from a different branch. We already have the most important thing: we love each other. I simply wonder what we can build with that love.

For most of human history, family was one of our first systems of survival. Families raised children, cared for elders, transferred knowledge, shared resources and preserved history. For Black families in America, those connections survived forced separation, segregation, migration, discrimination and economic hardship.

In 1955, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. warned in "The Crisis in the Modern Family" that individualism could weaken the cooperative nature of family life. His question still feels relevant: How do we continue progressing individually without growing apart collectively?

Our tree extends through Papa and his brothers, James and Clay; Auntie Fine Geri, born a Dunham, and the generations she and James created; Grandma, born a Byrd, and the branches through Dorothy, Pam, Randall and Marva; and every marriage, child and generation that followed.

Today, Papa, Grandma, Auntie Fine Geri and Aunt Pam remain from that elder generation. They are living libraries carrying stories and memories that may exist nowhere else. We still have time to ask the questions.

Growing Up and Growing Down

Our family has always understood upward growth: education, hard work, careers, children and creating opportunities the generation before us didn't have.

But trees don't only grow upward. While their branches reach toward the sky, their roots grow deeper into the ground.

Maybe we should measure progress both ways. Keep reaching higher individually while intentionally knowing our history, connecting our children, sharing what we learn and creating traditions together.

Today, much of our connection happens through group chats, social media, birthday texts and major events. We gather for graduations, weddings, birthdays and funerals. Nobody designed it that way. Life happened, people moved and each household learned to care for its own branch.

The love remains. The connection simply needs intention.

What We Can Begin

Let's begin with one family Zoom each month. One hour for every branch to share what's happening, what the children are doing, what we're celebrating, what we've learned and where someone might need support.

We can also use that time to record our history, beginning with our elders and eventually hearing from every generation. Over time, those recordings become a family archive our descendants can see and hear for themselves.

I would also like us to create an annual gathering and a tradition of writing one family letter each year. Anyone who wants to participate can write about:

• What brought me joy or pain this year?
• What did I learn?
• What do I wish my family understood about me?
• What do I appreciate about our family?
• What do I hope we improve?

We can share those letters at our annual gathering or final Zoom of the year.

This has to be a safe space. Nobody is forced to share, vulnerability doesn't become gossip and someone's feelings don't have to become a debate. We come from strong faith and traditional values, and we can preserve those values while becoming better listeners. Sometimes love simply says, "I remember it differently, but I hear you."

Everyone deserves a clean slate, not to erase yesterday, but to give tomorrow a fair chance.

This Is for Those Coming Next

The adults begin this, but this is really for our children, their children and generations we will never meet.

Imagine them knowing their cousins, hearing their elders' voices, having mentors throughout the family and growing up believing that family connection is simply what we do.

As we build that foundation, we can take another step. Papa and Grandma have talked about wanting this family connected and protected beyond their lifetime, including Papa's idea of establishing a family trust that could potentially receive life insurance death benefits from participating family members for future generations. The details require proper legal and financial guidance and individual choice, but the principle is simple: each generation should try to leave the next stronger than it found it.

That inheritance is bigger than money. It is knowledge, relationships, history, traditions, mentorship, opportunity, protection and resources.

Maya Angelou said, "When you learn, teach. When you get, give." What we learn, teach. What we receive, give forward. What we survive, explain. What we build, protect.

SEE. CARE? DO!

The punctuation is intentional.

SEE. The period means see clearly before judging: the whole tree, where we came from and what we still have time to build.

CARE? The question mark means nobody can force another person to care. Each of us must decide whether this matters.

DO! The exclamation point means that if it does matter, love becomes action. Join the call. Listen. Tell the story. Write the letter. Bring the children. Teach. Learn. Show up.

We don't need a perfect family. We already have love. Now we can become more intentional about what we build with it.

The ink is not dry.

Let every branch continue reaching higher, but let us grow our roots deeper so that generations from now, knowing one another, helping one another and leaving something for those who follow is simply what our family does.

With love,

Rahdric C. Dix

For those who came before us, those here today and those yet to come.

See. Care? Do!
Making uncommon knowledge common.