The Cut Off

Cutting People Off: The Hollywood Drama We Keep Repeating

Relationships are messy. One moment, you’re inseparable with someone who knows all your secrets. The next? You’re plotting their emotional exile like the lead in a Hollywood drama. The plot twist? They didn’t even do anything wrong.

So, why do we keep cutting people off as if it’s the ultimate solution? Jealousy, past trauma, and societal conditioning play lead roles in this blockbuster of emotional chaos. And here’s the kicker: the “cut them off” strategy rarely leads to the happy ending we imagine.

The Origin Story: Trauma and Trust Issues

Every great story has a backstory, and for many, it starts with past trauma. Maybe you grew up in a household where love felt conditional, or betrayal came from someone you trusted. These experiences shape your “relationship playbook,” teaching you to avoid vulnerability at all costs.

Dr. Amir Levine explains that trauma often wires us to expect abandonment or betrayal, even when it’s not there. Instead of confronting these fears, we hit eject at the first sign of discomfort. It feels safer—but it’s just a fear-fueled rerun.

Enter Jealousy: The Villain We Love to Hate

Cue the dramatic score—jealousy struts onto the scene. It’s the villain we all recognize but rarely confront.

Jealousy doesn’t come out of nowhere; it’s a mix of evolutionary instinct and personal baggage. Evolutionarily, jealousy protected relationships by guarding against threats. But in today’s world, it’s often just fear dressed up as “passion.”

And when opposite-sex friendships are involved? The drama intensifies. Society has long peddled the idea that men and women can’t be “just friends,” turning innocent connections into scandalous subplots. We’ve been so conditioned by movies and media that even a friendly text feels like betrayal.

The Cut-Off Culture Plotline

Here’s where things get real predictable. Someone doesn’t text back fast enough. A partner feels threatened by your best friend. A minor conflict bubbles up. Instead of addressing it, you take the shortcut: cutting them off.

Society has glamorized this move. “Protect your energy,” they say. “Cut toxic people out.” But let’s be honest—most of the time, the person isn’t toxic; your unresolved trauma and fear of vulnerability are the real culprits.

The Fallout: Life Without Connection

Cutting people off might feel empowering in the moment, but every hero has to face the aftermath. The void left behind isn’t just theirs—it’s yours.

Research shows that strong relationships are the greatest predictor of happiness, health, and longevity. Losing meaningful connections—especially over jealousy or fear—chips away at your emotional resilience and mental health.

Trauma wins. Jealousy wins. You lose.

The Rewrite: A New Storyline

Hollywood might love a dramatic breakup, but your life doesn’t need to follow the same tired script. Instead of letting past trauma and societal norms dictate your relationships, flip the narrative:

 • Acknowledge your fears. Is jealousy or distrust coming from their actions—or your past?

 • Stop seeing opposite-sex friendships as scandals waiting to happen. They’re not a threat—they’re proof that love exists in many forms.

 • Confront conflict. Real relationships aren’t about perfection; they’re about working through the hard stuff.

The Closing Scene

Cutting people off might feel like the dramatic move you need, but it’s rarely the real solution. The relationships we cherish aren’t built on avoidance—they’re built on trust, honesty, and the willingness to do the work.

So, rewrite the script. Trust the people who matter. Challenge the fears holding you back. And this time, give yourself the happy ending you deserve.