PDA

PDA: Public Displays of Affection – Why We Love It, Hate It, and Secretly Obsess Over It

Picture this: you’re at brunch, sipping your iced latte, when a couple next to you starts feeding each other French toast. Cute, right? Or nauseating? Love it or loathe it, Public Displays of Affection (PDA) are everywhere. But why do some people cling like Velcro while others cringe at the thought of hand-holding in public? Let’s dive in, because there’s more to PDA than meets the eye—or the Instagram feed.

The Psychology Behind PDA: Why We’re All So Weird About It

Turns out, PDA isn’t just about showing off your boo at the park. Psychologically, it’s a cocktail of biology, culture, and personality. Here’s the lowdown:

1. Evolution Made Us This Way

Humans are wired for connection—thank evolution for that. According to Dr. Helen Fisher, an anthropologist who studies love (yes, that’s a real job), physical touch releases oxytocin, the “love hormone.” A quick smooch or cuddle in public isn’t just PDA; it’s your brain’s way of solidifying bonds and screaming to the world: This one’s mine! 

2. Attachment Styles Play a Role

Whether you’re a clingy koala or a hands-in-pockets lone wolf comes down to attachment styles. Psychologists have identified three main ones:

 • Secure: These folks are chill with PDA but don’t need it to feel validated.

 • Anxious: They’re the ones posting every anniversary selfie because public validation feels like love.

 • Avoidant: They’ll die before holding your hand at the movies. Why? Vulnerability freaks them out.

Fun fact: Your attachment style likely stems from how your parents treated you as a baby. (Yes, this is all their fault.) 

Why Some People Crave PDA

If you’re PDA-obsessed, you’re not just trying to annoy single people—there’s actual science behind it. Here’s why:

 • Cultural Conditioning: In Western cultures, PDA is often seen as a badge of a strong relationship. Couples who flaunt it are considered “goals.” (Cue every rom-com ever.)

 • Social Media Pressure: If it’s not on the ‘gram, did it even happen? Public affection can be a way to brand your relationship, complete with matching captions and cute emojis.

 • Validation and Reassurance: A kiss on the forehead in public might seem small, but for some, it’s a loud-and-clear “I love you” for the world to see.

Why Some People HATE PDA

On the flip side, if the thought of PDA makes you want to scream into a pillow, you’re not alone. Here’s why:

 • Personal Boundaries: Some people just like their space. It’s not you—it’s them.

 • Cultural Backgrounds: In some cultures, PDA is seen as taboo or even disrespectful. (Think about those “no kissing” signs in some airports.)

 • The Fear of Judgment: Ever feel like the world’s watching your every move? For PDA-averse folks, the idea of being that couple is terrifying.

What Experts Say

 • Statistic Alert! According to a 2022 study, 58% of people say they’re cool with hand-holding in public, but only 33% are okay with kissing. Anything more? Only 7% can handle it. (So, maybe skip the full-on makeout session in line at Starbucks.)

 • Relationship Expert’s Take: Therapist Esther Perel says that PDA often reflects the emotional temperature of a relationship. The more comfortable and confident a couple feels, the more likely they are to express it in public.

The Fine Line Between Cute and Cringe

Here’s the million-dollar question: How much PDA is too much? Let’s break it down.

 • Cute: A quick kiss, holding hands, leaning on your partner’s shoulder.

 • Cringe: Feeding each other in public, sitting on laps at family dinners, full-on makeout marathons.

Remember, PDA should be about connection, not performance. If you’re doing it for likes or to make your ex jealous, maybe rethink your motives.

Why We’re All Obsessed

Whether we admit it or not, PDA fascinates us because it’s raw, real, and, let’s face it, a little dramatic. Seeing a couple kiss in the rain or argue over pizza toppings gives us a glimpse into their love story—and maybe even our own.

Final Thoughts

PDA is as personal as the relationships it represents. Love it, hate it, or side-eye it from afar, it’s here to stay. So, next time you spot a couple holding hands or stealing a kiss, maybe cut them some slack—or at least wait until they’ve finished the French toast.